I went to the hospital with a friend of mine yesterday and on the way there we got into a conversation about being empowered. As a Woman, I believe that it is important to be empowered, even more so if the woman is a survivor of any type of abuse. It is difficult enough for us to have self-confidence, let alone have it after surviving abuse in our lives.  My best friend ALWAYS empowers me. She grounds me with power because she knows me so well. She believes in me more than I believe in myself!!! I am trying my “darndest” to regain my self-confidence. I go through days when it isn’t an issue for me, but today, it was a bit hard to find it in myself. I look in the mirror, and sometimes, it is hard enough to even like who I am looking at. I beat myself up “a lot”!

I try to remember the days when this wasn’t a problem for me, and I “see” that time in my life and wonder why it is I can’t get back to that place within myself. I know it is because I  heard so many times about how “fat” I was or how “nobody would want me”. Once you get that drilled into your head enough times, you believe it. It gets very hard to shake any of it off.

There are many times when I talk with other women, I  find that as I “empower” them through the conversation that we are having that I am also becoming "empowered".  Those times for me are fantastic. I don't want the time to end. I feel like I could carry the weight of the world on my shoulders after having time like that with people who understand how important it is to have one another through the times when we are not as strong as we would like to be. I believe that if we, as women, felt as though we could rule our own lives, even after the friends are gone, then we may be able to take on the challenges that life throws at us. It is only through continuous uplifting of each other and of ourselves that we are finally able to peel away the layers of doubt and shame. It is only then that we are able to see a bit more clearly who we really are.

I "KNOW" who I want to be. I KNOW how I want to look and it is all so clear in my mind's eye. Getting this person out in the world is a whole different task! I'm clumsy, and not very well balanced. I'm overweight and have hyper pigmentation...I fidget and and talk fast and rush through situations so that I don't forget what I was going to say. My mind spins and in an instant...I am able to scare away someone that may have been interested in getting to know me better. THIS is one of the times that I could really use the women who know me the best, around me, to help me not fumble. We are survivors for a reason. I believe it is because we have so much POWER and we have to learn how to harness it in order to pass it along to other victims who are going to need to be "empowered".

"WOMEN" are a mighty force when they come together for a cause. "MY" cause..." being an abuse survivor...has brought me to where I am today. I am ready to stand up for victims of abuse in order to let them know that there is a better way to live life before it is too late. I want (SOOO much) to dance like I used to...but I know those days are gone. I can't  get them back. My hope is to be able to empower others, before they get into a situation that leaves them broken and scared.

EMPOWER those who need it!!! Whenever they need it!!! If only to get them to a place in their lives where they can "SEE" that the road they are on is not the one to choose. Empower them, Empower them, Empower them...and in return, you yourself will begin to be empowered in ways you never thought possible!!!

~Namaste